“Hands” Off This Cinematic Masterpiece!

If you LOVE bad movies as much as I do, then “Hands” down I have a winner for you!
It’s a legendary film shot in 1966 that is now available on blu-ray – called the single worst film ever made!

“Manos: The Hands Of Fate”

“Manos: The Hands of Fate” was made in 1966 – and here is the beginning of a trend: it was written, directed, produced by, and starring Harold P. Warren!

Yes, Warren was the visionary behind it all!

Here is a very short trailer that only hints at the horror that awaits!

Meet “Torgo!”

Here is the plot of “Manos”: a family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo – yes, TORGO!

What’s funny to me is that “Torgo” looks like a guy who stumbled out of a Gunsmoke saloon!

According to the great website IMDB: the entire film was shot with a hand-held camera that could only record 32 seconds of film at a time. It was also shot without sound; all the lines were dubbed later by two men and one woman. Jackey Neyman cried when she first heard her dubbed voice.

Even The Film’s Title Is Inept!

Here’s a wacky fact: “Manos” is the Spanish word for “hands”. So in the other words, the title of this movie is

“Hands: The Hands of Fate!”

If you need to know more, read the entire review at the terrific “DVD Drive-In” here:

http://www.dvddrive-in.com/reviews/i-m/manosse66.htm

When you read the “DVD Drive-In” review, they say this:

Reaching new highs (or is it lows?) in ineptitude, the independently-made regional schlocker MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE has by and large become many a filmgoer’s premium choice as the worst movie ever made (though my vote still goes to MONSTER A-GO GO).

Well, I must differ…first, look at this great double feature DVD from Something Weird video:

Yes, I proudly own “Monster A Go Go”, and yes, it is jawdroppingly inept…but NOTHING compared to the co-feature:

Psyched By The 4D Witch!

I have written about this film before. That is of course if you can really call it “a film.” But it was in movie theaters, and yes, based on the provocative movie poster, I snuck in to see it!

4D AWFUL!

I cannot recommend this film highly enough – because you will be stunned that I was suckered into seeing it!

“Psyched By The 4D Witch” is one of cinema’s greatest movie titles, but it’s not so much a “movie” as it is a series of poorly shot b-roll shots with an equally poorly written narration laid over it…and shots of this actress…

As you watch, you begin to notice things, like the fact there is NO synched sound at all, meaning it’s all b-roll and voiceover of her “thoughts and reactions”! And by the way, it is the worst voiceover narration ever recorded, with pointless scenes of her in a room looking like this….

By the way, there is NOTHING “adult” about this footage, which is followed by random footage of traffic and city streets – all strung together to fill time…in fact, it was described by Something Weird Video (who was smart enough to release it on DVD) as:

“the most maddening, jaw-dropping, mind-bending piece of celluloid lunacy ever to play American theaters!”

The film was Directed by Victor Luminera…it’s his only credit – EXCEPT he takes credit on “Psyched” for Director, Writer, Composer, Casting Director, Costume Designer AND Art Department!

You understand that is EXACTLY why I love the folks at Something Weird Video – because they saved this film!

To read all about Something Weird Video, and their passionate attempt to keep the world’s weirdest films alive, click here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/01/07/something-weird-wild-wild-cinema-celebrating-a-weird-genius-rip-mike-vraney/

And while I am focused on the three worst Directed films of all time, you can check out more cinema stinkers by clicking on here – and you will see more wacky cinema:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/05/03/from-the-beatles-to-flying-severed-heads-five-mesmerizingly-bad-films/

And now, I have THIS warning for you:

“WILDER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE! EXPLICIT BEYOND BELIEF!”

Hard to misunderstand what this film has to offer – except in the hands of one of the worst Directors of all time, it offered almost NOTHING they promised!

Fleshpot On 42nd St.

Welcome to Times Square’s seediest period ever!

“Erotic, Sensual and Smoldering!”

Director Andy Milligan was a master of bad moviemaking….like these gems:

For “Fleshpot On 42ndSt.”, Milligan turned his cameras on the legendarily seedy streets of New York in the early 70’s…

The plot was simple: A street whore desperately seeks love and acceptance against the backdrop of the criminal element of early 1970s Times Square. What sort of “Criminal element?” Well, check out this bar scene and you’ll get an idea…

The film featured classic Milligan dialogue like this:

Cherry Lane: Didn’t your mother ever tell you that you shouldn’t go out with strange men?
Dusty Cole: Bob’s not strange. He’s dull.

Based on the clip I showed you, he sure is!

Of course, the pressures of Times Square can make relationships tough, as Dusty has to confide to Tony…

Dusty Cole: When I moved in with you, you said they’re be no trouble between us. You said we’d shack up together and that’s all. And I said I’d help out with the money as soon as I get a job. Don’t think I don’t apreciate what you’ve done for me, Tony. I do… but you get more then your fair share of ass. There isn’t one night where you don’t come home from that shithole where you work and wake me up in the middle of the night because you want a piece of ass. I do my part so get off my back!

And of course, how can you go wrong with conversations like this one:

Dusty Cole: How’s your mother?
Cherry Lane: She threw me out. I guess she got tired of me using all her hairspray.

While “Fleshpot” is arguably his worst film, Milligan made many other classics, which you can read about here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/02/13/fleshpots-rats-cranium-cleaving-color-meet-andy-milligan-sexploitations-ed-wood/

And don’t forget to buy all of these classics, or I will send “Torgo” after you!

Countdown to Halloween Continues With A Great Joke: “Knock! Knock!”

“Who’s There?” Horror! It’s the month where you NEVER answer your door at night – and here is a great example of why not…as one reviewer puts it:

“What we do have is a home invasion film for the social media generation that should make you think twice before offering warmth and shelter to a stranger on a dark and stormy night.”

Sounds like a great Halloween movie to me!

“Knock Knock!”

“The Green Inferno” Director Eli Roth strikes again with a sex-fueled thriller starring Keanu Reeves!

The plot is simple: a devoted husband and father is left home alone for the weekend – and two stranded young women unexpectedly knock on his door for help. Things quickly heat up, and all sorts of sexual shenanigans ensure!

Here is the trailer:

Dread Central awarded it a score of 4 out of 5, and were behind the line: “what we do have is a home invasion film for the social media generation (yes, it does feature social media in its plot) that should make you think twice before offering warmth and shelter to a stranger on a dark and stormy night.”

Dark and stormy night thrillers are exactly what you want this time of year!

“Knock Knock!” – Meet “Death Game”!

“Knock Knock” looks like a twisted, vicious little movie, but did you know that it’s based on a twisted, vicious little movie from the 1970’s?

Here’s a great fact: Eli Roth based his movie on a classic cult film called “Death Game”!

Colleen Camp and Sondra Locke are two of the producers of “Knock Knock”, and they starred in “Death Game” in 1977!

Sandra Locke of course starred in a number of Clint Eastwood film such as “Sudden Impact”, and I’d love to see the original “Death Game” as well!

As I said, Eli Roth is also the Director of the Amazon cannibal horror film “The Green Inferno”, which the Director shot on location!

You can read all about this homage to “Cannibal Holocaust” by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/09/05/enter-the-green-inferno-eli-roths-homage-to-shocking-cannibal-holocaust/

I am a big Keanu Reeves fans, and enjoyed his fictional directing debut last year as well:

You can read about “Man Of Tai Chi” by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/07/28/keanu-reeves-kung-fu-fight-club-man-of-tai-chi-47-ronin/

Let me know what you think of “Knock Knock!”

Surprise! Happy Halloween!

It’s that time of year, when the most unpleasant people can pop out of your toilet! Need more proof?

It’s time to celebrate some of the best horror films around – so you can turn your Halloween into a celebration of bloody excess like this!

We begin with a new film out from the visionary Japanese Director Takashi Miike!

Here is the trailer for “Yakuza Apocalypse!” –

Here is the plot of “Yakuza Apocalypse”: In the underground world of the yakuza, no one is more legendary than boss Kamiura. Rumored to be invincible, the truth is he is a vampire-a bloodsucking yakuza vampire boss!

Takashi Miike’s films are among the most imaginative – and craziest – ever made! This film looks like it has a ton of action as well as style, and I can’t wait to see why THIS animal is in the film:

As always, Miike is a terrific Director….and don’t forget, this visionary Japanese Director has played with Zombies before:

“The Happiness Of The Katakuris!”

Miike made a zombie rom-com in the style of “The Sound Of Music!” You must see this movie, and you can get more details on the madness on display by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/10/05/happy-singing-zombies-visionary-takashi-miikes-wacky-zombie-musical/

So now, back to the subject of “Toilet Zombies” – are you ready for the wackiest horror film of all time?

There is nothing more to say until you watch the trailer here:

Yes, Zombies that are after just one thing: your ASS!

Read all about the majesty of “Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead” by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/11/06/zombie-ass-yes-japans-wacky-cinema-is-calling-what-the/

Of course this has a “tongue in buttcheek” quality to it, but not all Japanese horror is for laughs – another great genre of Japanese horror can be found here:

“The Ring” Rules!

The US remake of “The Ring” with Naomi Watts was a good horror film, but to see some of the best japanese horror ever, you have to check out the original film – thanks to the Japanese, a whole new era of stylized horror was unveiled!

The “Ringu” horror series from the late 90’s can be found online and on demand, and they are beautifully made horror films…

If you want to explore obscure and wildly creative Japanese horror, you need to stop here as well!

Meet The “Tokyo Gore Police!”

This movie is wild wild wild – just one of a new genre that is called “J-Sploitation” – japanese horror with lots and lots of blood!

You need to see films like “Helldriver” and “The Machine Girl”, along with “RoboGeishas” as well – read all about them here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/15/tokyo-gore-for-halloween-behold-j-sploitation-nishimura-rules-extreme-japanese-cinema/

And if you want really intense Asisan horror, then you should check out this “Dream Home!”

“Dream Home” is bloody, suspenseful and dripping with atmosphere – read all about some of the most intensely ferocious japanese horror by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/05/01/female-ninja-warriors-extreme-asian-cinema-updated/

And don’t forget to check under your seat!

Time To Head To Italy For A Good Scare!

Some of the most inventive thrillers ever made came from Italy, during a time when the “giallo” film was at its height – just in time for Halloween, welcome to the bloody world of the Italian sex shocker!

Let’s begin with a film that was so controversial it landed the Director in court, facing prison time! It’s all because of this:

“In the annals of the abnormal there is no more erotic nightmare than the strange lusts of a…

Lizard In A Woman’s Skin!”

One of the most legendary Italian sex shockers is also one of the most controversial! Here is the plot: Florinda Bolkan plays the daughter of a prominant English politician who keeps having recurring “nightmares” in which she makes love to a bisexual nympho who lives downstairs and conducts all-night LSD orgies!

That’s Right: ALL-NIGHT LSD ORGIES!

Anyone who has nightmares involving a bisexual nymph is just looking for trouble! FYI, the film was released in the US as “Schizoid”, which she certainly was! When the nocturnal wet dreams become murderous, the neighbor turns up dead, and Florinda is the main suspect. Did she actually commit the murder she dreamt about?

And Who Is This “Giallo?”

“Giallo” is a 20th-century Italian genre of literature and film. In Italy, the term denotes thrillers, typically of the crime fiction, mystery, and horror categories. “Giallo” refers to a style of murder mystery film which includes lots of horror, eroticism and sex! Here is what one of the books looks like:

As you can see, it’s a lurid “come-on” to the reader, or in this case, to the moviegoer…and “Lizard In A Woman’s Skin” is a perfect fit as well, as it’s a sex shocker with a title as lurid as the style of filmmaking…

The Master! Director Lucio Fulci!

The Director of the movie was Lucio Fulci, one of Italy’s great horror filmmakers.

Among his films was this classic of the genre:

The Director was such a master of shock that a judge threatened to throw him in jail!

One such shocking scene in “Lizard’s Skin” involves a room full of disemboweled dogs. Director Fulci was nearly sent to prison because it was believed that the dogs were real and Fulci had allowed animal cruelty on the film! Crew members had to testify in court that the “dogs” were indeed fake and no animals had ever been harmed. Special effects artist Carlo Rambaldi even presented the dog props in court to convince the jury. This was the first time that an effects artist had to testify in court that their work was fake!

You can read more about the film, along with a look at the blu-ray release’s extended features, by clicking on this great website, “Mondo Digital”:

http://www.mondo-digital.com/lizard.html

And you can read more about the genre of italian giallo, with films like this:

One of Italy’s greatest Giallo Directors was Dario Argento, read all about him here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/09/halloween-giallo-masters-agentos-animal-trilogy-fulcis-tortured-ducklings-italian-pulp-fiction/

So now you are getting warmed up to this incredibly entertaining film genre…and want to take it to a whole new level:

Yes, as the 70’s progressed, the genre got even more shocking – you can read all about this classic of the genre by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/07/09/time-to-strip-nude-four-flies-and-baba-yaga-to-you-yes-its-classic-italian-giallo/

There are so many more…here are some great posters that capture the energy of the genre:

And the 70’s were a great time for another Italian film genre as well:

Yes, the Italian crime drama thrived in the 70’s and here is a great documentary that looks at the classic films of the 70’s:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/01/19/italian-mobsters-sex-kittens-euro-crime-the-italian-dirty-harry-classic-70s-euro-crime/

Let me know how many of these classic shockers you’ve seen!

“A ballad of the ’60’s said, ‘I left my heart in San Francisco’. Now in the ’70’s it is possible to leave one’s soul there as well.”

How can you NOT love a film that includes that line? Remember, not all films are destined to be Best Picture! Some have a “different” agenda:

It’s Time To Celebrate Halloween Season – NAKED!

Yes, NAKED! And that means a look at some of the wildest horror films of the early 70’s!

Can You Handle “The Virgin Witch?” How About THIS?”

“A wild, weird world of bizarre practices and savage pleasure actually filmed as they exist today in the cities and suburbs of our civilization!”

No Halloween season is complete without a look at some of the cheesiest, most exploitative movies ever released!

There was a time when these films were shown in classic “grind houses”, where sexploitation movies were shown all day and night to a “less discerning” audience!

Movies like this:

“The Virgin Witch!”

First, check out this classic trailer:

Thanks to “Sleaze-O-Rama” on YouTube for posting this trailer, which only hints at the madness of this movie!

It all begins innocently enough: Christine and her sister Betty go to a castle for a weekend modeling assignment. But guess what? She’s been lured there as a virgin for induction into a witch’s coven!

Well, you can imagine how much nudity comes from this setup! It’s a classic horror setup: lured into a world of black magic…where do they get these ideas?

How about from here!

The Madness Of “Witchcraft ’70”!

Yes, “Witchcraft” is all around us, and there’s a movie that shows it all to you!
Here’s a lurid expose about witchcraft around the world – first, watch this over-the-top trailer!

“Witchcraft ’70” is a “hidden camera”-style report of satanic rites from around the world. The movie dares to expose the audience to devil worshipping, voodoo cults, the church of satan, black magic, naked exorcism and pagan rituals!

The film is filled with great narration like this:

“A ballad of the ’60’s said, ‘I left my heart in San Francisco’. Now in the ’70’s it is possible to leave one’s soul there as well.”

And it appears they left their clothes there too!

And just to spice things up, how about this narration from the film:

“The night air carries the stench of flames, sex and an acrid unnatural sweat.”

These films used a variety of footage from around the world to make their case that “Witchcraft” was everywhere – including your movie theater!

Leave me a comment if you’ve seen either of these classic exploitation films, and if you want to go full on “naked” horror for the holiday, try this!

Yes, there was a time when all vampires were naked – an era in filmmaking that lives on thanks to DVD and blu-ray! Read all about these naked vampires by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/10/03/naked-vampires-dirty-dracula-cult-erotic-halloween-horror/

These films are really good, by the way – and remember that some of Hollywood’s biggest stars tried to replicate their success:

Remember the erotic horror of “The Hunger?” Read my story about this 80’s vampire erotic horror film by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/03/11/the-hunger-sex-blood-bowie-new-music-lusting-for-vampires/

“The Hunger” took erotic horror to the mainstream, but in the 70’s, you could only find it here:

If you want to learn more about the wacky world of “grind house” cinema, read my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/06/12/dirty-keyholes-immoral-wives-the-naked-truth-about-cult-grindhouse-cinema/

Let me know if you’ve experienced “The Virgin Witch!”

Time For Another Bloody, Campy, Sexy Halloween Treat!

How can you NOT love a movie that has this tag line:

“They Charge An Arm And A Leg!”

And a “subtle” poster like this!

Time To Celebrate The Bloody Fun Of “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers!”

Yes, the title should tell you how “tongue in bloody cheek” this film is, but that’s what makes it a classic! First, check out this vintage movie trailer – oh, be warned that it is full of sex, nudity and blood – everything that makes Halloween great!

Here is the film’s plot, courtesy of the great website “DVD Drive-in”:

“On the hunt for runaway Oxnard teenager Samantha, Los Angeles private detective Jack Chandler stumbles across an LAPD investigation into a series of chainsaw serial killings when thinks homicide detective Harrison’s “Cuisinart Queen” suspect – caught “making Chicken McNuggets with a chainsaw” – might be the missing girl!”

“Chicken McNuggets With A Chainsaw”!

First of all, bravo to the modern scream queen Linnea Quigley, who gives a terrific performance in the film! The late 80’s were a delirious time for low-budget filmmaking…from “Re-Animator” to “Chainsaw Hookers”, movies were trying to keep the spirit of the drive-in alive – just bloodier, sexier and with a knowing wink to the audience!

Director Fred Olen Ray had already directed a few movies prior to “HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS” – but according to DVD Drive-In, “Hookers” was filmed in five days!

Greg Kenner’s “MovieTime” Moment!

DVD Drive-In also reports there is a great “extra” on the blu-ray release: a vintage “MovieTime Hollywood Premiere” (3:53) in which later Oscar-nominated actor Greg Kinnear pays his dues condescendingly covering the film’s premiere interviewing Quigley, Wildsmith, Camp Video’s Jim Goff, Sybil Danning (who is “always interested in a seeing a good documentary”), and cabaret act “Les Stevens and the Lovely Carol”.

As one of the folks who worked at MovieTime in the day, this is a great piece of nostalgia!

Read the entire review on DVD Drive-in’s website here:

http://www.dvddrive-in.com/reviews/e-h/hollywoodchainsawhookersblu.htm

And don’t forget to gas up for some fun this Halloween!

Are you also looking for more great Halloween options?

Why not start with America’s reigning “Scream Queen?”

Jamie Lee Curtis starred in some of the best “Halloween slashers” of all time – including of course “Halloween!”

Click here for all of her greatest hits:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/10/21/jamie-lee-curtis-a-scream-queens-terror-trilogy-great-halloween-horror/

And if you just want to be scared – you know, like this kind of scared:

Then you need to check out my most shocking Halloween movies of all time…

http://johnrieber.com/2014/10/01/shocks-scares-chainsaws-the-best-halloween-horror-2014/

If you just want to remember some of the campiest horror films – then you need to check out this classic by the legendary Vincent Price:

Here is a look at the classic “Dr. Phibes” movies from the early 70’s, and the raucous world of the “Midnight movie” – click here to read all about it:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/10/22/drunken-dr-phibes-horrors-abominable-midnight-madness/

And let me know what your favorite Halloween film is!

“It’s too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the outfit she had on.”

Time For Some Cult Camp Classics – With Cinema’s Reigning Cult “Scream Queen!”

I love Linnea Quigley! Her movies are some of the most entertaining cult movies of the 80’s!

Linnea Quigley is best known for an incredible run of 80’s horror films, and became America’s most legendary “Scream Queen!”

Her breakout role was in the 1981 slasher film, “Graduation Day”, followed by ” Savage Streets”, “Silent Night, Deadly Night” and “Nightmare Sisters”…where she always managed to stay very clean!

A Scream Queen “Legend” Is Born!

Quigley had a number of films to her name by the mid-80’s, making a name for herself and building up a loyal fan base. And then, it was time to “rock it” to the big time!

Linnea Shows Off Her Talent!

Yes, that’s a very naked Linnea Quigley dancing in a graveyard in the hit movie “The Return Of The Living Dead!”

In 1985, Quigley broke out big time with her sexy “dance with the dead” – she played teenage punk “Trash”!

Here is the trailer for this 80’s horror camp classic:

Linnea’s Camp Horror Trifecta!

“Return Of The Living Dead” made Quigley a star, but for me, 1988 was the year she became America’s “Scream Queen” forever!

In 1988, Quigley starred in the “perfect storm” of evil – three 80’s horror classics, beginning with a movie that screams 80’s excess – even in its title!

“Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama!”

What makes this movie perfect is, of course, the title – not just for using the word “Slimeball”, but because it was originally known as “The Imp!”

Yes, the plot of this film is simple: sorority babes worship an Imp that grants deadly wishes. And it had this classic line:

“It’s too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the outfit she had on.”

Check out the somewhat annoying trailer:

Campy? Sure! A whole lot of fun to watch! Absolutely! Next up is another 80’s horror classic:

“Night Of The Demons!”

Talk about a film that completely captures the spirit of horror in the 80’s!

Here is the trailer for “Night Of The Demons”:

Once again, Quigley steals the film, which is a “kids go to party and die instead” setup, this time in an abandoned funeral parlor. Quigley’s imaginative use of lipstick, plus some well-placed nudity, was all it took for the film to be a huge hit!

According to IMDB, Linnea and special effects artist Steve Johnson met when she came in to get the mold for her fake breasts done! They were later married.

And finally, 1988 finished off with one of the wildest films she’d ever starred in!

“Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers!”

Another of the greatest movie titles of all time, and a really fun horror film that delivers lots of blood, gore and sex!

If you want to see the movie’s wild wild trailer, and lots more about the film, click on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/10/21/hollywood-chainsaw-hookers-greg-kinnears-movietime-premiere-shocking-halloween-2015-horror/

The 80’s were the height of Quigley’s “scream queen” career, but she continues to act and make personal appearances…and she’s also a great Author!

Quigley has written three books; “The Linnea Quigley Bio & Chainsaw Book”, “I’m Screaming as Fast as I Can: My Life in B-Movies” and “Skin”…check them out at Amazon!

Also, follow Linnea at her official website:

http://www.linnea-quigley.com

Kudos to Linnea Quigley for entertaining millions of fans over the years…another Hollywood Sex Kitten who has brains as well….

Speaking of smart, empowered women in Hollywood, Mamie Van Doren is a great story as well…read all about her incredible career here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/07/07/mamie-van-doren-legendary-hollywood-sex-kitten-untamed-sex-symbol/

Some of my favorite posts are those that pay tribute to some of Hollywood’s enduring sex kittens…one of the most successful is Ann-Margret:

Margret went from singing with Elvis to writhing around in baked beans for The Who! Read all about it here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/11/23/hollywoods-legendary-sex-kitten-ann-margret-rock-operas-baked-beans-elvis/

And finally, here is the story of a lesser known Starlet, who ended up as one of 007’s Bond girls!

Read all about Barbara Bouchet by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/04/29/classic-sex-kitten-james-bonds-sexy-co-star-barbara-bouchet/

And make sure you watch some “Scream Queen” classics too!

Wait Until You See This Amazing Movie Nightclub Mashup!

Yes, Darth Vader and Pilot Ted Striker go head to head in one of the most amazing movie mashups ever made!

Imagine taking the most iconic nightclub scenes from film and putting them all together into one big:

“Hell’s Club!”

Bravo to Antonio Maria da Silva!

Here is what I found at “Someecards.com”: “Antonio Maria da Silva is a film editor par excellence. Based in Paris, his movie mashups combine footage from classic films so smoothly, it can be hard to tell where the cuts are. In the past, he’s brought us treats like Terminator vs. Robocop and Bruce Lee vs. Bruce Lee, but Hell’s Club has to be his masterwork.”

Yes, da Silva took short nightclub scenes from movies as diverse as “Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith”, “Carlito’s Way”, “Boogie Nights”, “Saturday Night Fever” and “Airplane” and turned it into an amazing seamless journey into a place called “Hell’s Club!”

Yes, you can now head to a party with Tony Montana, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and John Travolta – with a lot of red light as well! Here is this amazingly creative mashup!

Bravo to da Silva for this masterwork, I hope it’s not pulled down off the internet! And you can read more about it at this site where I found it posted:

http://www.someecards.com/entertainment/movies/movie-mashup-scene-hells-club/

The mashup reminded me of how much I love some of the movies shown here, such as:

“Boogie Nights!”

One of the best films ever made, and plenty of nightclub action! Read the “oral” history of the movie by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/12/11/dirk-digglers-livin-thing-70s-sex-80s-excess-the-oral-history-of-boogie-nights/

And nightclubs also have bathrooms, so when I saw the “Transpotting” scenes in the mashup, I immediately thought of this:

Yes, the film had the worst toilet in Scotland! Here is my look at all of the best bathroom scenes in film:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/03/06/going-to-the-toilet-the-craziest-bathroom-scenes-in-the-movies/

And finally, after seeing Ted Striker, I remembered the funniest film ever made:

You can relive all of the best moments by reading this oral history of the movie..just click here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/04/28/shirley-you-cant-be-serious-the-oral-history-of-airplane/

And let me know if da Silva left out any other great nightclub movie moments!

In honor of the new James Bond film, I offer you this:

“We guarantee a laugh a minute in the zaniest film you’ve EVER seen!”

How can you argue with a “laugh a minute?” Especially when it’s from one of James Bond’s best Directors!

Time to look at a classic British sex comedy, shaken NOT stirred!

Here’s the plot: a scriptwriter, a producer and a director are called in by Benny Murdoch, an exotic movie producer. He wants to make a new erotic movie starring a big woman – “Eskimo Nell!”

As with all classic sex farces, there are plenty of problems. The scriptwriter is a virgin, and each of the three main big $$$ Investors want a different type of movie – one wants a western, another demands an erotic drama, and the last wants a kung-fu movie!

This is classic British sex farce, which means Monty Python-type comedy and lots of nudity!

You either appreciate this kind of manic farce or you don’t…but here’s one guy who did!

As you can see Producer Stanley Long was proud to show off his credit:

Take “Eskimo Nell” Home To Mom!

Eskimo Nell was recently released in a ‘special edition’ DVD and Blu-ray, with several extra features…but the biggest “extra” about this film is who directed it!

Campbell! Martin Campbell! 007’s Savior – TWICE!

Director Martin Campbell may not have made the greatest British sex comedy of all time, but he did a lot more – 007 times more! Yes, he directed TWO classic James Bond movies, introducing new Bonds each time!

In 1995, Campbell introduced a new James Bond – Pierce Brosnan – to movie audiences with the terrific “Goldeneye”…a fast-paced thriller that brought Bond back from the dead…and then in 2006, Campbell did it again, with one of the best Bond films of all:

Campbell’s “Casino Royale” introduced Daniel Craig as a brutal 007 – really saving the franchise again from the lethargic “Die Another Day”…if you disagree, check out all of my best and WORST Bond movies here…

http://johnrieber.com/2013/09/24/his-name-is-bond-james-bond-the-best-007-ever-the-worst-film-fight-club-begins-now/

Kudos to Martin Campbell for “Eskimo Nell” and “Miss Moneypenny” – all in one career!

The genre of British sex comedy has a long and varied history…with that, I introduce you to the “upstairs downstairs” shenanigans of:

“What The Butler Did….And Did…And Did!”

Time to see if the Butler did, in fact, DO IT….

Keep It Up Downstairs!

Check out the trailer:

This is another classic British sex farce! Well-known Actress Diana Dors and adult superstar Mary Millington star in a vintage British sex comedy!

This is an obvious parody of “Upstairs Downstairs”, the classic British drama about the lives of two very different social castes in England. As the movie promo says:

“See a host of stars shedding their Edwardian costumes to save the family silver!”

Well then, if you need more of an education about those randy Brits, I suggest you start here:

The British “Confessions Of…” films are a hilarious look at 70’s England – check them all out here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/09/30/confessions-of-the-sex-obsessed-british-70s-cult-sex-comedies-are-back/

Let me know what you think of this sexy British invasion!

In the mood for a film that includes a striptease IN FRONT OF A PARROT – yes,THIS movie?

Before I share the title, I want to share a review….because I love any movie that is reviewed with this line:

“…Well worth watching late at night when your critical defenses have been lowered.”

Of COURSE it’s referring to Director Jess Franco!

Franco was one of cinema’s most unique voices, and yes, you MUST lower your “critical defenses” to enjoy his classic sexploitation movies like these:

Those movie posters are just the tip of the Jess Franco madness – this is a guy who loves to make crazy films!

And now, you can enjoy Franco’s “lost” Zombie movie – with a bonus striptease in front of a parrot – and a second feature thrown in to boot!

Time To Dive Into The Zombie Madness Of “Devil Hunter!”

Here’s a quote from the movie:

“It was just like this place… all those bombs. Oh! Oh my poor head. I hate the jungle and its humidity!”

Check out the trailer:

Thanks to “RareCultCinema” for sharing this on youtube!

Here’s what you are in for when you dive into “Devil Hunter!” First, check out this zombie!

Here’s how Severin films describes the movie: “King Of EuroSleaze Jess Franco takes on the ’80s Cannibal genre and delivers a jungle sickie like no other! When a safari of sexy babes and violent boneheads ventures into native-crazed wilderness, Uncle Jess unleashes a deluge of relentless nudity, dubious anthropology and his own brand of cut-rate carnage.”

Well who can argue with that!

“Devil Hunter” had a lot of fun titles over the years, such as “Sexo Cannibal” and “Mandingo Manhunter!”

The “Lost” Parrot Striptease!

Folks, this is exploitation filmmaking at its finest! And thanks to Severin films, you can watch “Devil Hunter” on blu-ray UNCUT – As “Mondo Digital” reports, “extras include the bongo-riffic theatrical trailer and a bonus “spicy” scene with ‘Lorna the Exorcist’s Pamela Stanford doing a topless striptease in front of a parrot, which was removed from the film for reasons only the Eurocult gods will ever decipher!”

Not only can you rejoice in the delicious depravity that is “Devil Hunter”, Severin has decided to up the ante with a second feature!

Cannibal Terror!

Yes, a bonus film, so you can have a double bill of bad! If the poster isn’t enough to tell you how “WRONG” this movie is, try the trailer!

Well, you already see where this is going: a pair of criminal knuckleheads and their very sexy female friend kidnap the young daughter of a wealthy tycoon – and of course, they foolishly choose to hide in a local jungle infested with ferocious cannibals!

Now, because this is meant to offend EVERYONE who goes to the movies, there is not only violence but lots and lots of nudity and sexual situations as well!

Bravo to Severin films once again for finding some of the wildest exploitation to share with the world!

And Mondo Digital has a great review on both, check it out here:

http://www.mondo-digital.com/cannibalterror.html

Now, back to the legendary Jess Franco…

This is the cover for a film he directed STARRING HIS WIFE….let me say it again; STARRING HIS WIFE…

Read all about the X-rated madness of Linda and her shocking nights by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/03/11/lindas-shocking-hot-nights-lina-romays-classic-sexploitation/

RIP Jess Franco!

Both Lina Romay and Director Jess Franco have left us much too soon…they made some wacky and wild films for exploitation fans to enjoy…with Romay naked most of the time…

But they were strangely entertaining, and Romay and Franco have a ton of movie fans…which is why so many of their movies live on today…read about them here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/02/17/countess-perverse-lorna-the-exorcist-jess-francos-naked-masterpieces/

And let me know if you’ve taken a trip with Franco’s “Devil Hunter!”

If you are interested in fascinating, but disturbing documentaries, here is an Artist you should know…

“Hard manual labor is visible, explainable, portrayable.
This is why I often think of it as the only real work.”

Documentary filmmaker Michael Glawogger was an Austrian film director, screenwriter and cinematographer. He specialized in showing people on the edges of society…

The subjects of his movies were real people – the stories were harsh, poignant and unflinching. He made three documentaries, two of which I have seen and wanted to share with you – because he was a brilliant film maker…

“Workingman’s Death”

I read about this film and had to see it – in a world when TV shows talk about “dangerous jobs” or “dirty jobs”, this film takes that definition to a whole new level…

Glawogger films six different jobs that are beyond anything you can imagine – intimate portraits of real men doing the most dangerous jobs on earth – here is the trailer:

The film is broken into six chapters, each one highlighting another job – beginning with:

Coal mines in the Ukraine

Here is how the film’s website describes this job: A “mousetrap” is a mine no higher than 16 inches that the coal diggers have excavated themselves. Do you understand? The entire height of the mine that these men work inside is 16 inches!

The miners have to crawl for over 200 yards while lying almost completely flat, then pound the coal into pieces, and shovel these pieces into a metal trough – and all that while lying flat on their stomachs.

This is unbelievably harrowing – just over a foot of space to drag themselves more than the length of two football fields! Director Glawogger’s camera is there to capture all of it…

Sulfar Mining in Indonesia

How about this job? The “kitchen” is the place at the edge of the hot, blue-green lake at the bottom of the crater where sulfur is mined. The “kitchen” spits, hisses, billows up in clouds of hot caustic vapor.

Here molten sulfur flows through long clay pipes, touches the air, and hardens in a matter of minutes. Orange puddles turn into pale-yellow, jagged-edged chunks and slabs.

Equipped with long iron rods, the men stuff a cloth or the sleeve of their jackets into their mouths, and dash up the slope and into the biting fumes. There they break off big chunks of hardened sulfur to carry away for sale.

Slaughter Yard in Nigeria

Forget buying steaks in a supermarket. Here is how they do it in Nigeria: a real slaughterhouse, functioning like an open-air market, because it is…

This is “The Slab,” a large open-air clearing where the cattle is brought alive, then slaughtered, skinned, and cut into portions for sale. There is a charred elevated platform for roasting the beef heads, skin, feet, and whole goats.

One of the Director’s great techniques is to place a subject in front of the place they work, and then let the camera roll. The awkwardness is clear, real and touching…

Next up is one of the most beautifully filmed – and dangerous – jobs of all: workers in Pakistan who live in shacks and literally dismantle old cargo ships…

Shipbreaking in Pakistan

Shamorgar, a little Pakistani mountain village near the border to Afghanistan, is where the old cargo ships are run aground and then taken apart – an amazingly dangerous and toxic environment…

Steel Complex in China

Muscle power and the contribution of the individual are no longer prized as they were in former times. The model heroes of the past, like Mang Tai or Wang Xinxi, are still looked upon as exemplary workers, but whatever charisma they once had no longer seems relevant anymore.

This is a sad look at how men who used their strength in the past have no role in the future, leading to the last vignette:

Leisure Park in Germany

When night falls in Duisburg, the blast furnaces flare up. In neon green and fantastic colors. ARTificial light – In the truest sense. The British light artist Jonathan guides Duisburgians home with this spectacular installation. Visitors to this abandoned steel mill experience the glowing furnaces live and in color – and as the film’s website asks: “Now do you see the light”?

And that is the real point of the documentary.

Here is how the Director describe it:

“Work can be many things. Often it is barely visible; sometimes,
difficult to explain;and in many cases, impossible to portray.
Hard manual labor is visible, explainable, portrayable.
This is why I often think of it as the only real work.”

Michael Glawogger

Read more about this incredible documentary here:

http://www.workingmansdeath.at/about_en.html

Glawogger then turned his cameras on what is referred to as “the world’s oldest profession”:

Whores’ Glory:

First, look at the trailer:

Glawogger turned his camera on the lives, troubles and hopes of prostitutes in Thailand, Bangladesh and Mexico.

In Bangkok, the camera unflinchingly shows you the bars where women sit behind glass and wait for men to pick their “number”:

You hear from he women who work here, and get a honest sense of what their life is like. What is shocking is to see how prostitution is a way of life in Bangladesh as well:

Finally, the Director heads to Mexico, and a rough border town where the women are all strung out on drugs, and some of the “johns” ride in on mules to see them:

This movie becomes graphic near the end, when a customer is filmed procuring services from a prostitute in Mexico – who then heads back to her room with her female lover, who sprawls naked on a bed and smokes crack. It is sobering material.

The Director’s Tragic Death!

Tragically, Director Michael Glawogger died while on location for a film. 4 days after incorrectly being diagnosed with typhus, he died in 2014 on location in Liberia…

What he has left are two brilliant films….classic cimema verite – there is no narration in these films: you hear from the people profiled as they work – and talk about their work…it is storytelling as its most fundamental – and brilliant: check them out!

In The Mood For A Movie?

Nothing more enjoyable than finding a seat and experiencing some memorable cinema…and if you want it to be VERY MEMORABLE, then take a walk down this street!

In the 70’s and the early part of the 80’s, New York’s time square was filled with “grind houses”, movie theaters that churned out exploitation movies to young men seeking a cheap thrill…I find this era fascinating because these theaters were filled with movies that catered to young, impressionable men who could be lured into the theater by ads like these…

Films like “Exposed” promised to do just that – and savvy movie Producers made a lot of money by catering to every young man’s fantasy, especially when it came to Cheerleaders…

Rah! Rah! Rah!

X-rated films about Cheerleaders offered plenty of nudity, and laughs as well, as the movies made as much fun of themselves as they did of the audience who watched them…

David Hasselhoff As “Boner!”

Yes, even David Hasselhoff appeared in these movies…you can read my story about these films – and “the Hoff” – by clicking here…

http://johnrieber.com/2015/02/19/cheerleaders-pom-pom-girls-david-hasselhoff-as-boner-cult-classics-rah-rah-rah/

Another sub-culture of film that was hugely popular in the 70’s and 80’s dealt with another group of young women who had no problem making you feel better…

The Student Nurses – “They’re Learning Fast!”

Yes, let’s look at some of the most entertaining sexploitation movies that focused on nurses…whether they were in school “learning fast”, or doing a little extra “private duty”…

Private Duty Nurses – “It’s What They Do OFF Duty That’s Really Private!”

As you can see, these movies promised lots of sex – these movie posters are hilariously obvious – but they worked!

The Young Nurses – “It’s My Body, Doctor – NOT Your Laboratory!”

These posters are obvious: the movie promises sex, nudity and more sex!

Check out this classic trailer:

In the 70’s, drive-in movies were the rage, and guys could pile into a car and watch a double or even triple-features, all about nurses!

Candy Stripe Nurses! – “They’ll Give You Fast-Fast-Fast Relief!”

The movies may have seemed very similar, but who cares? Here is the decidedly NSFW trailer:

Of course, you can only be in nursing school, or in a hospital for so long, so what do you do? Add violence!

I love this movie, which includes a nurse with a machine gun!

Nurses For Sale – “Kidnapped, Abused & Tormented – Held For The Highest Price!”

So if you can’t watch them work, then watch them fight back against kidnappers! This genre of film became so popular that everyone jumped on the bandwagon!

Our friends at Troma got into the action by releasing this classic exploitation film from Hungary!

“Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy”!

Troma is America’s longest lasting independent film studio – in large part because they have a great sense of humor when it comes to film.

Here is Troma’s hilariously profane trailer!

I give Troma credit for finding a wildly entertaining way to jump on the nurse bandwagon! And if you need even more of a Tromatic fix, check out the best of Troma here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/12/03/exploitation-nazis-shakespeare-tromas-tromatic-holiday-gift-guide/

Along with grind house theaters, the “sexy nurse” phenomenon faded away, but for more than a decade, they were some of the most successful low-budget movies released…

And just this year, a new nurse horror film was released – in 3D!

You can find this on demand and on home video – check out “Nurse 3D!”

Cheerleaders and nurses weren’t the only ones exploited…during the height of the “grind house” cinema phases, even hillbillies got a chance to shine as well!

“Flaming Hillbilly Color!”

As you can see, smart movie producers pandered to everyone! Read all about love in “flaming hillbilly color” by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/08/29/forbidden-flesh-child-brides-see-how-they-love-in-flaming-hillbilly-color-early-sexploitation-madness/

While it faded in America, the cult movie “grind house” phenomenon made its way to Asia, and in Japan, some of the wildest action movies of all time were made!

That’s right, this woman is fighting off a gang of men wearing nothing but a very sharp sword! Read all about “Sex & Fury”, and this classic J-sploitaiton genre by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/02/19/killer-dwarves-blind-beasts-naked-female-yakuzas-japanese-sexploitation-lives/

And finally, here is a story about some of the funniest, most obvious movie posters ever:

“Love-Starved And Eager To Learn!”

See some of the most obvious, and misleading movie posters of all time by clicking here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/05/31/forbidden-flesh-dirty-girls-the-unsatisfied-classic-sexploitation-cinema/

Let me know what you think of this nurse phenomenon!

One of the most difficult aspects of making a film is deciding what to call it – after all, lots of us go see a film based on the title!

Sure, “Jaws” pretty much nailed it…big shark, “JAWS”…I’m in…and when a movie has a distinctive, iconic title, there’s not much more you need to worry about…here are more examples of films where the titles pretty much told you all you need to know…

Yes, THAT film title explains exactly what you are about to see as well! And in that vein of “this film MUST be as bad as it sounds”, I offer you this movie title:

“I Could Never Have Sex With Any Man Who Has Such Little Respect For My Husband!”

First of all, what was the year 1973 thinking when it released this movie to the world?

That said, it’s not only a very accurate description of the film, but one of the strangest movie titles of all time!

In this sex farce, a couple of aspiring swingers rent a summer cottage in Martha’s Vineyard. There they sit around discussing the pros and cons of having affairs!

Of course they do!

This was an actual movie that was released in theaters…and here’s another wacky movie title that shares the same distinction!

“Psyched By The 4D Witch”!

Yes, it’s not only one of the strangest movie titles ever, but it was theatrically released as well! The early 70’s were obviously a gold mine for wacky!

I probably don’t have to tell you this, but “Psyched By The 4D Witch” is one of the worst films of all time…read all about it here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/10/06/manos-hands-of-fate-is-here-halloween-2015-celebrates-horrors-worst-directors-sex-fleshpots-4d-witches/

Oh, Dustin Hoffman, REALLY?

While “4D Witch” will only be remembered by the people who made it, some of these strange movie titles had really big stars in the films – here is a great example – take a deep breath and try to get this movie title out in one sitting:

“Who Is Harry Kellerman And Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?”

What the? Well, this obscure 1971 film starred Dustin Hoffman as a song writer who cannot love himself, or others. So he spends his days with various women flying his plane, and dropping in to the world around him. Um, OK….

Dustin went on to star in some more mainstream movies with more straightforward titles of course:

Well, maybe not…you see, I wanted to share some of the funniest and most unique movie titles of all time – the films themselves may be good, bad or ugly, or in some cases, cult classics like this one!

“Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama!”

This 80’s cult horror film starred Scream Queen Linnea Quigley, and was originally called “The Imp!”

You see, a bunch of sorority sisters are trapped in a bowling alley, and are terrorized by the afore-mentioned “Imp!”

To see more of this wackiness, and to celebrate Linnea Quigley in all of her greatness, click on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/10/28/scream-queen-linnea-quigley-naked-graveyard-dancing-horror-demons-too/

Finally, there is this gem…if you think I am joking about this movie title, YOU ARE WRONG:

“The World’s First Monster Musical!”

Yes, this is real movie! Time to embrace:

“The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!”

Watch this classic trailer for “the world’s first monster musical!”

That is, without a doubt, the most unique movie title I’ve ver heard…well, except for the others! So there you have it, five very strange movie titles…let me know which is your favorite!

Meet “The Sultan of Sexploitation”!

How is that for a job title! In an era when movies like “The Pigkeeper’s Daughter” played in grind houses across the country, there was one man who made a fortune by delivering a series of software sex comedies!

Harry Novak started Boxoffice International Pictures in 1964, and hit the grind house circuit soon after with the sex romp “Kiss Me Quick” – check out this poster!

These movies were designed to titillate male audiences who were eager to see a new permissiveness on screen…

As a Producer, Novak filled America’s grind houses with a non-stop series of trashy sexploitation movies like these:

Novak’s genius was to capitalize on the explosion of sex and violence in films int he 60’s, and maximize both for profit!

The Secret Sex Lives Of Romeo & Juliet!

One notorious sexploitation stunt was to take a classic story and “perv it up!” So Novak told the story of the “secret sex lives” of history’s most enduring love story, and he knocked off other hit films as well!

I Am Curious Tahiti!

In the late 60’s, “I Am Curious (Yellow)” shocked America with its candid and frank look at sex in Denmark. Novak saw a good thing and did a version from Tahiti!

Remember when Marlon Brando shocked the world with his demand for butter?

Well, Novak knew that moviegoers wanted more of a good thing, so he rushed out this knock off:

Novak also knew how to titillate audiences with his look into the dark corners of the US, like these classic comedies about country girls:

Sassy Sue!

“Sassy Sue” and “The Pigkeeper’s Daughter” were classic software sex romps, full of tons of nudity and action…and speaking of action, Novak also loved to document the country’s road to ruin…

A Scream In The Streets!

These films were made quickly and cheap, and they jumped on whatever was happening in the real world – so “a city ripped apart by sin and lust!” was his way to look at the criminal underworld in America’s cities…

But perhaps Novak’s greatest claim to fame has one of the greatest movie titles of all time:

“Wham! Bam! Thank You Spaceman!”

What else needs to be said: Check out this wacky trailer!

Now THAT’S entertainment! Movies don’t get this wacky anymore! The plot is simple: Two aliens from a dying planet are on a mission to impregnate Earth women – of course they are!

Here’s a funny fact about the quality of this film:

When the spacemen are ready to land, the globe stops and zooms into the center of South America – the interior of Brazil. When they get out of their spaceship, they are in Hollywood!

“Wham Bam” is another example of the raucous era of filmmaking in the 70’s…and we are all better off for it!

Bravo Harry Novak, while you passed away last year your movies will live forever!

And if you love what Harry Novak achieved, then you will absolutely love the greatest softcore filmmaker of all time – Russ Meyer!

Russ Meyer was the genius behind “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” and “Vixen”, among many others…read all about them here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/03/16/sexploitation-classics-the-russ-meyer-edition/

These are classic grind house films…if you don’t know what grind houses are, here is a look at New York’s Times Square in the 70’s…

These movie theaters showed movies full of sex and violence, and they played 24 hours a day…”grinding them out” for single guys…read about this crazy era in movies here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/11/23/sex-violence-grindhouse-have-a-purient-holiday-an-exploitation-gift-guide/

Let me know what you think!

Are You Missing Some Good Old Fashioned “Hillbilly” Cinema?

I know what you are thinking: with award season upon us, this is certainly an Oscar contender! And it has a rich past – with other classic “hillbilly” movies like this!

Child Brides In The Ozarks!

OK then, this is one crazy genre of film! Don’t worry, the “child brides” are clearly of legal age – but in the early days of exploitation, this was racy stuff! Here are some classic examples of “hicksploitation!”

Welcome To Hicksploitation!

I love this definition! Hicksploitation is “a genre of exploitation film relying on stereotypical depictions of rural whites of the American South and Appalachia”!

In an era when “Deliverance” made everyone afraid to go in the woods, these movies exploited a sub-culture full of “gorgeous girls that set the Ozarks on fire!”

Let’s look at this classic poster again:

“See How They Live! See How They Love!”

Well, I just might take you up on that! How can you misunderstand the intent of this movie? Take a look at the trailer:

And it’s in “Flaming Hillbilly Color!”

“Flaming Hillbilly Color!” What’s NOT to love? In an era of “Hillbilly Handfishing” and “Honey Boo Boo’s family situation, there seems to be a Hillbilly revival!

Here are some more classics from that era:

“Country Cuzzins!” A VERY Close Family!

No way to misunderstand what they are saying here – just look at the poster!

Here is the trailer for this campy cult film:

There’s a strong “Farmer’s Daughter” vibe going through all of these films: the innocent farm girl who is ready to be “tainted” by a big city feller!

Sassy Sue!

See what I mean? Come on down to the farm for some fun! Producer Harry Novak was a legend for his lowest-common denominator approach to film making, which resulted in movies like these playing in drive-in theaters all over the country to an audience of very “excitable” teen boys!

And if Sue wasn’t “Sassy” enough, then it’s time to meet “The Pigkeepers Daughter!”

She Brought A New Meaning To The Phrase “Driving A Hard Bargain!”

I find these movie posters fascinating – see how lewd they are, with obvious come ons and double entendres – literally anything they could think of is included – these films played drive-ins all across the country – again, for teenage boys willing to part with their allowance for a chance to glimpse a naked girl!

Here is the VERY “NSFW” trailer for “The Pigkeepers Daughter!”

This genre of “sexploitation” has been captured for us to enjoy forever thanks to the great work by SomethingWeird Video, which lovingly restores and releases these movies to a nation eager to “head down south!”

Here are some other funny looking titles that jumped on the “hicksploitation” bandwagon:

“Gator Bait” Indeed!

One of the genre’s most popular entries was “Gator Bait!” Claudia Jennings starred in this classic hicksploitaiton film – Jennings was Playboy Magazine’s Playmate Of The Year in 1970, and she parlayed that into an acting career, including “Gator Bait” – shot in ten days!

Check out the trailer!

In general, you needed scantily-clad women who could kick ass! And there were plenty of films that could offer that up, like this one, also starring Jennings!

Eager movie Producers took advantage of whatever genre of film was popular at the time, which is how you got movies like this!

Yes, when haunted houses were the rage, why not throw in a few hillbillies? Hilarious, and hilariously BAD!

If you want to see more classic exploitation films from the seventies, check out my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/08/29/forbidden-flesh-child-brides-see-how-they-love-in-flaming-hillbilly-color-early-sexploitation-madness/

And it wasn’t all naked women: there was a decade full of “good ‘ol boy” action films as well, with many starring Burt Reynolds!

Check out some of his classics of the genre by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/02/22/suck-down-some-white-lightning-hicksploitation-burt-reynolds-gator-good-ol-boy-action-classics/

Let me know what you think of “hicksploitation!”

Is This 007’s Sexist Bond Girl EVER?

007 has had some of the most beautiful Actresses in movie history featured as a “Bond girl”…including such modern-day Actresses as Halle Berry and Rosamund Pike -but in the beginning, it’s wasn’t that type of stunt casting. Here’s a look at one of the earliest Bond girls who moved from 007 to Giallo!

Meet Claudine Auger – born is France, she earned the title of “Miss France Monde” and was the first runner-up in the 1958 “Miss World” contest.

Claudine’s big break came in 1965 when she was cast in the fourth James Bond film. Auger is, to me, the most beautiful Bond girl of all – and she shares the poster with Sean Connery as Bond girl “Domino” in “Thunderball”:

Here is the classic trailer for one of the best Bond films ever:

Auger holds her against up against 007, and the film’s huge success made her a star – which she used to star in some of the best 1970’s sex shockers of all time!

A “Bond Girl” Triple Bill!

In 1971, she starred with two other Bond girls, Barbara Bach and Barbara Bouchet, in the classic Italian Giallo “Black Belly Of The Tarantula”!

Check out the intense trailer!

Here is the plot for this classic Italian thriller:

Inspector Tellini investigates serial crimes where victims are paralyzed while having their bellies ripped open with a sharp knife, much in the same way tarantulas are killed by the black wasp!

Claudine is terrific in the film, which is one of the best Italian “giallo” thrillers – more on this genre in a second, but first, time for some choice dialogue!

Paolo: “But, man isn’t an insect, my dear Simon. We have centuries of civilization behind us, you know.”
Simon: “No, I don’t know. I wasn’t there.”

Time For More Claudine!

Auger also starred in another great Italian “giallo” thriller, known as:

“Twitch Of The Death Nerve”!

First, check out this groovy, psychedelic trailer!

Or you can call it “Bay Of Blood” – it was known by both titles – and many others as well!

Here is the plot: Countess Federica, the elderly owner of a coveted piece of bayside property, is brutally slain by her husband–who is himself killed by a mysterious third person at the murder scene! Who is the killer? Director Mario Bava’s black comedy of human greed boasts 13 characters and 13 of the most shocking murders ever filmed!

This is considered by many cult film fans as Director Mario Bava’s most influential film and the Godfather of the “slasher” genre!

As I mentioned, this film was released in the US with a multitude of titles, including “The Last House on the Left Part II”, even though this film had nothing to do with Wes Craven’s cult shocker “The Last House on the Left”!

Here is more great trivia, thanks to IMDB: “Friday the 13th Part 2” takes two murders from this film, almost shot for shot!

Auger has had a long and successful career, but these movies are, without a doubt, some of her greatest work!

As I mentioned before, Auger co-starred with Barbara Bouchet, who was also a Bond girl!

Bouchet was in the spoof “Casino Royale”, along with a number of other great films – you can read all about her here:

http://johnrieber.com/2014/04/29/classic-sex-kitten-james-bonds-sexy-co-star-barbara-bouchet/

And I mentioned Italian “giallo” films, which were sex shockers from the 70’s – great cult classics like this:

Read about the classic “Lizard In A Woman’s Skin” and more italian sex shockers by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2015/10/15/a-lizard-in-a-womans-skin-halloweens-controversial-giallo-on-trial-slithering-italian-sex-shockers/

And if you want to see one of the greatest titles in the italian “giallo” genre, what about this?

This is a perfect example of the genre, a great 70’s thriller from Italy – read all about it by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/07/09/time-to-strip-nude-four-flies-and-baba-yaga-to-you-yes-its-classic-italian-giallo/

Let me know what you think of the great Actress Claudine Auger!

Elevator Sex!

It is one of cinema’s most iconic erotic scenes – with Oscar winners!

Revenge!

And it is one of movie’s most shocking endings – a tale of revenge with one added bonus!

Boiling Bunnies!

Yes, it is true: that WAS a real bunny! Time to celebrate all that is the majesty of:

The “Oral” History Of “Fatal Attraction”!

First and foremost, remember this: “Fatal Attraction” was nominated for best picture of the year in 1987 – it was a pop culture phenomenon – that nobody wanted to make!

Empire magazine Writer Mark Salisbury did a great oral history of the film in the October issue of the magazine.

It’s a great story about a great movie that lives on decades later as one of Hollywood’s most explicit shockers!

Here are some of the highlights from the magazine article!

What A Credit!

The opening credits include this:

“Written by James Dearden based on his original screenplay”

That’s because Dearden’s short film “Diverson” told the story that became the first third of the film – his tale of a girlfriend who slits her wrists when her boyfriend tries to break up with her. That was the end of “Diverson”, but the inspiration for the rest of “Fatal Attraction.”

Producers saw the short film and asked Dearden to expand it into a feature length film…but as Producer Sherry Lansing said:

“Every studio passed on it at least twice. People would throw the script in my face and say, ‘i’m a happily married man, i would never cheat on my wife for absolutely no reason.’ They were really offended by it.”

For good reason! Some of the Oscar-nominated script included conversations like this, which began after Douglas has an affair with Close while his wife and daughter are out of town:

Dan Gallagher: You’re so sad. You know that, Alex? Lonely and very sad.
Alex Forrest: Don’t you ever pity me, you smug bastard.
Dan Gallagher: I’ll pity you… I’ll pity you. I’ll pity you because you’re sick.
Alex Forrest: Why? Because I won’t allow you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage?

And that’s what was so controversial about the film – Douglas has almost NO regret for cheating on his wife, only for being caught up in a revenge tale from a woman spurned!

Brian DePalma Vs. Michael Douglas!

And then came the disasterous directorial dance with Brian DePalma, who had just made “The Untoucables” and wanted to take “Fatal Attraction” in a different direction – without Michael Douglas!

Luckily, The Producers said “no”, and DePalma left the project. Says Lansing:

“We never told Michael. He only found out many years later, after he was so hugely successful. He thought it was funny. At the time it would have really hurt him.”

And Douglass adds pointedly about Brian DePalma’s effort to replace him:

“I’ve always carried a grude with Bri. We didn’t get it resolved for like 20 years, when he came up to maat some party to try and explain. I just said, ‘Brian, it’s too late. Twenty years is too late.”

As for Glenn Close, she was told that she was too nice and earthy to be the vixen in the movie, so she showed up with her hair uncombed, frizzly and unmanageable…just like the character – and won them over immediately!

Director Adrien Lyne said after her audition: “I remember thinking her hair was a disaster, but that’s what people remember, that kind of medusa hair.”

As Michael Douglas admitted:

“I thought she was wrong before she came and in and absolutely right after she came in. She had that sexy, erotic, dangerous quality.”

And as for the sex scenes, Michael Douglas tells some funny stories about being goofy on set to take the tension out of the moment and Glenn Close was up for anything – IF she was kept awash in alcohol.

“I said, OK Tommy (the prop guy) you have to give me a pitcher of margaritas.”

Oh, and then there is this:

“The stench was unbearable!”

Yes, it was a REAL Rabbit used in that infamous scene…a dead one with the innards taken out but the fur left on, and it smelled horrible…because they really did boil it in a pot of hot water for the scene!

As For The Controversial Ending…

The film’s DVD and blu-ray releases have a lot of great stories about how the audience reacted to test screenings, including the original ending – and the magazine article goes into the controversy about that as well…

The film’s original ending was bleak, with Close committing suicide…but audiences wanted more, and so reluctantly, Glenn Close agreed to let her character show a more evil side at the end…

As she says now:

“The changes that were made with the ending, for better or fore worse for Alex, made it into the sensation that it became…I’m proud to be part of that movie. its part of our collective consciousness.”

If you want to see more, go to the Empire website – the magazine has a ton of great content every month:

And don’t forget that “Fatal Attraction” was part of the Michael Douglas “penis” trilogy…read the rest here!

http://johnrieber.com/2014/01/13/fatal-attractions-basic-instincts-full-disclosure-the-infamous-michael-douglas-penis-trilogy/

And if you are surprised that the film was Oscar-nominated, don’t be: Oscar has said “bravo” to X-rated films 13 times! Read about Oscar’s adult fixation by clicking on my story here:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/05/07/x-rated-butter-cowboys-droogs-oscars-x-flirtation/

And let me know what you think of “Fatal Attraction!”

Ever Wanted To “Take To The Road?”

It’s the favorite mode of transportation for the young and free – stick your thumb out and see the world!

Well, that doesn’t sound nice! You see, life “on the road” isn’t all Jack Kerouac…it’s a dangerous world as well!

“Thumbs Up! Knives out!”

Time to look at the exploitation movie genre focused on hitchhiking – and just how horrifically dangerous it can be!

“The Scorching, Reckless Joy Rides Of Wild Girls Of The Road!”

As early as 1958, shrewd movie Producers figured out that women out on the road alone were great fodder for exploitation, especially when filmed in “naturama!”

And a few years earlier, Hollywood knew that life on the road was a thriller! Take a look at this film noir classic from 1952, written and directed by famous movie star Ida Lupino!

In the 70’s, the relaxation of indecency and obscenity rules meant that these hitchhiking films could get more and more outrageous!

“There Is No Such Thing As A Free Ride!”

As you can see, there is no such thing as a “safe ride”! In the 70’s, drive-in theaters were filled with wild exploitative films like this:

“It Was The Longest Ride Of Her Life!”

As you can see, the movie posters promised a film full of young women making bad decisions and paying the price – but these movies were more likely to involve lots of nudity AND revenge!

“Hitch Hike!”

European star Franco Nero starred in this cult film, now being re-discovered thanks to DVD and blu-ray! Here is the trailer for this forgotten classic:

“Hitch Hike” is a psychological thriller that is a rough 70’s gem – but perhaps the most iconic film dealing with the horror of hitchhiking is the 80’s classic “The Hitcher” with Rutger Hauer!

Take A Ride With “The Hitcher!”

This cult classic from 1986 tells a straightforward tale: a young man who escapes from a crazed hitch-hiker – then finds himself framed for the “hitchers” crimes!

As you can see, NOTHING good happens when you pick up a hitchhiker, no matter what these posters suggest!

This is just one category of exploitation film that is so much fun to watch – another classic of exploitation is this one:

Naughty Stewardesses!

Talk about having fun while flying! This genre got its start with the release of the bawdy novel “Coffee Tea or Me?” Read all about it here:

https://johnrieber.com/2014/05/30/naughty-stewardesses-swinging-cheerleaders-centerfold-girls-classic-70s-exploitation/

I said earlier that many of these films were actually about empowered females turning the tables on stupid guys…perhaps no more so than this genre:

“Tough as nails” biker chicks are always fun to watch, and you can see the best ones by clicking on my story here:

Sexy Chopper Chicks! “Naked” Cycle Sluts! Sex! Violence! “Hog-sploitation”!

And finally, there was one genre that was so good that even David Hasselhoff got into it!

Yes, “The Hoff” starred in a cheerleader movie! Find out which one by clicking on my story here:

https://johnrieber.com/2015/02/19/cheerleaders-pom-pom-girls-david-hasselhoff-as-boner-cult-classics-rah-rah-rah/

Let me know what your favorite genre of exploitation is!

Say Hello To The Face Of Exploitation Cinema!

Someone asked me to explain the phenomenon of exploitation cinema – an era from the late 60’s to the mid-80’s when movies pushed boundaries and broke taboos…and resulted in some of the most deranged and entertaining films of all time!

Welcome To Times Square!

It all began in New York’s Times Square, at a time when it was more dangerous to be IN THE THEATER than it was to be on the streets!

Time To Talk About All Forms Of Movie ‘Sploitation!

These movie theaters in Times Square were open 24 hours a day, showing some of the weirdest films ever made!

“Exploitation” films were also known as “Grindhouse” films, because they played New York’s 42nd street theaters all day and night…look at what a seedy scene it was at the time:

You can take a trip down memory lane with a story I posted about this unique time in cinema…just click here:

https://johnrieber.com/2012/11/23/sex-violence-grindhouse-have-a-purient-holiday-an-exploitation-gift-guide/

Hard to imagine that this is what Times Square used to look like – but it’s a part of movie history that has disappeared…except on home video and on demand, where these films are having a re-birth!

A “David Hasselhoff” Moment!

Here’s a look at the kind of films that were shown in Times Square in the 70’s and early 80’s…from the subtle to the ridiculous – and with David Hasselhoff too!

“Hello, Boner”! Time For Classic “Exploitation”!

Yes, there were recognizable stars in some of the more “mainstream” exploitation films of the era, including David Hasselhoff who starred as “Boner” is one of the more hilarious examples – movies with lots of topless girls, subtle sexual situations, mostly “R”-rated, or soft “X” – nothing too controversial, just good clean naughty fun like this:

The “Cheerleader” genre was silly, good-natured fun, with just enough skin shown to keep teenage boys flocking to the movies…here’s a good primer of the genre:

https://johnrieber.com/2015/02/19/cheerleaders-pom-pom-girls-david-hasselhoff-as-boner-cult-classics-rah-rah-rah/

These films could play drive-in theaters all around the country…not too extreme for rural audiences…

In the 70’s, it was up to the Europeans to give us a “harder” look at the genre, “art” films that featured lots of sex and violence – films that proudly celebrated being called:

HOT HOT HOT “SEX-Sploitation!”

Grindhouse theaters were inundated in the early 70’s with films from Europe that blew the doors off the buildings they were shown in: sex kittens like Lina Romay showed off EVERYTHING in every movie!

Romay made a series of films with her husband, Director Jess Franco, that were provocative, explicitly sexual and eye-popping!

One of their most notorious is “The Hot Nights Of Linda”, with the censored “banana” scene….which you can now see on a newly released blu-ray edition of the film…read all about it here:

Linda’s Shocking “Hot” Nights! Lina Romay’s Classic Sexploitation!

Not all films of that era from Europe were this “shocking”…which leads to the next “s-ploitation” genre known as:

“ART-Sploitation”!

What exactly is this? “Sinner” is a perfect example – “artsploitation” films came from Europe, beginning with the shocking film that started it all:

“I Am Curious (Yellow)” was brought up on obscenity charges, but when they won their case, the floodgates were open to a lot of wild films from Europe – these
movies were chock full of sexual situations and full nudity – but with social issues of the day thrown in as well…making it supposedly a more “artistic” endeavor….like this:

Meet Christina Lindberg, The “Queen Of Artsploitation!”

I have written about all of Lindberg’s films – this Swedish Star made some of the best “Artsploitation” films of the 70’s, like these:

Christina Lindberg was a huge star in the 70’s – Her most provocative movie, which Quentin Tarantino used as an inspiration for “Kill Bill”, was the classic “Thriller: A Cruel Picture” AKA “They Call Her One-Eye!”

Read about all of her amazing films by clicking on my story here:

Christina Lindberg Speaks! The “Queen Of Artsploitation” Bares All!

While Christina was nude throughout all of her films, the movies themselves tried to tell compelling, intelligent stories…THIS “S-ploitation” genre, however, didn’t bother!

Welcome To The Wacky World Of “Dwarf-Sploitation”!

Well, you knew it had to lead to this: one of the most exploitive movies ever released, thanks of course to the Europeans! Time to meet The Sinful Dwarf!

This movie has NO redeeming social values, and isn’t that why we are watching?

And now, the terrific home video company Severin Films is bringing this “Dwarf” back on blu-ray!

The new blu-ray includes a ton of special features, including a look at the cast and crew!

Of course, one of my favortie stories of all is the disappearing starlet of “Sinful Dwarf”, Anne Sparrow. It was her only film, and then she disappeared from movie screens forever!

This beautiful Actress bares all in the film, but also gives a brave, professional performance – and then she disappeared forever!

Read all about the mystery of Anne Sparrow by clicking here:

https://johnrieber.com/2015/09/16/sinful-sex-kitten-anne-sparrow-the-mystery-of-a-disappearing-starlet/

These films in the 70’s made it to the US and helped open the door to a more explicit era in film…some wacky 70’s exploitation films, however, never left their country of origin – like these!

Time For Some “J-Sploitation!”

Welcome to wild and wacky Japan! The genre known as “J-Sploitation” dealt with Japanese sexploitation films – also called:

“Pink Films”!

These movies were about girls who got into trouble and had to fight their way out!

These films evoke a style like “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” and are definitely worth checking out!

Read all about them here:

https://johnrieber.com/2014/08/18/wild-japan-cinema-pinky-violence-amazing-cult-exploitation-madness/

If you think only countries like Japan can release disturbing films that call their own culture into question, you are wrong!

Hick-sploitation!

Yes, right here in the heartland of the US of A, your “Country Cuzzins” are ready to party!

These movies are called “hick-Sploitation”, and they usually deal with country girls down on the farm who are ready to “get down”!

It’s a genre full of haystacks, “aw shucks” dialogue, and lots and lots of nudity! See what these “Country Cuzzins” are up to by clicking on my story here:

https://johnrieber.com/2015/12/12/gator-bait-country-lovin-hillbilly-brides-sex-action-missing-teeth-hicksploitation-lives/

These films evolved into more mainstream fare like “Gator Bait” and “White Lightning” with Burt Reynolds…just good old boys having some fun…back in Europe however, things just got darker and darker…

Shoot Up Some “Drug-Sploitation!”

This genre of “S-ploitation” had a short run in the US, with serious films like “The Panic In Needle Park” with Al Pacino:

Junkies on the streets of New York have movie stars attached, while in Europe, heroin addiction was just another plot point in films full of sex and violence like this:

See more about these rough and tumble descents into heroin madness by clicking on my story here:

https://johnrieber.com/2012/07/11/virgins-from-hell-plus-dead-virgins-too-oh-and-hannas-hooked-on-smack-exploitation-lives-on/

As you can see, Europeans dealt with social issues in one way, in the US it was a bit more humorous…like this genre:

Rev Up Some Classic “Hog-Sploitation”!

Yes, biker chicks was the rage in the 70’s – tough girls who could kick ass and take names!

Here is a list of some of the best:

https://johnrieber.com/2016/01/04/sexy-chopper-chicks-naked-cycle-sluts-sex-violence-hog-sploitation/

And there is one genre I could never support:

“Nun-Sploitation!”

This genre was touched upon a bit when Raquel Welch played the sexiest “cleave-flaunting” nun of all time:

Yes, Raquel dipped her breasts into the “euro-sleaze” genre in a big way!

“Euro-sleaze” is a type of movie made in Europe that didn’t even pretend to have any socially redeeming qualities – but big stars would make them because there was money to be made!

Raquel Welch was a sexy nun in the “euro-sleaze” classic “Bluebeard”.

Read more about this cult Ricahrd Burton classic – by clicking here:

https://johnrieber.com/2013/04/08/richard-burton-freezes-raquel-welch-bluebeards-classic-euro-sleaze/

So there’s a look at some of the wildest film genres ever produced – let me know your favorite!